Langit Biru

"Kosongnya hati, pabila kau berlalu... mungkin itu yang terbaik. Jiwa kini berantakan, memikirkan kesepian. Usah kau kembali, mengharap pada sayang yang sudah hilang, kerna aku sudah membuang jauh ke dasar api. Amarahnya terhadap kau dustakan aku begitu tinggi harganya."

Yang berterbangan dilangit biru
Itulah kertas dulu
Yang terlalu lama ku tunggu
akhirnya pulangnya rindu

"Mungkin cinta adalah permainan pada engkau. sandiwara berbalik dua persegi dunia, kau lafazkan, kau tinggalkan. semuanya mungkin salahku terlalu memaksa, namun ku sedari, kau telah berkasih, ku terasa ini semuanya satu kesalahan. mungkin aku bukan untukmu, mungkin aku tidak lahir untuk mencintai. terasa mati hati dijiwa lara ini. sebuah sentuhan dan belaian yang ku inginkan terasa kejauhan akhirnya."


Imaginasi aku
telah menjadi kesilapan
Merobek celah-celah hati
sehingga terluka begitu parah

"aku mungkin kan mencuba untuk ceria. hilangnya aku yang dulu. hilangnya aku yang peramah. hilangnya aku yang bersosial. hilangnya aku yang suka senyum. adakah aku mengubah pendirianku semata engkau... makin kabur penglihatanku dari sisi ini, semakin ku rasakan kebencianmu yang mendalam terhadapku, semakin aku rasakan lebih jauh dari kekejamanmu... mungkin nafas semalam tersekat. aku perlu mencari nafas yang lebih tenang dari semua permandangan ini. ingin ku lari jauh-jauh tanpa melihat sebarang cela sikit pun, tanpa ada duka melarakan, tanpa ada sukarnya berbicara, tanpa aku rasa emosi lagi. Cuba tenangkan dibibirku ini. Singkirkan segala gundah."

Aku terasa ingin kembali pada aku yang dulu.
Namun ku takkan tunggu lagi hari ini.
Puasnya hidup kalau dapat abaikan rasa benci.
Mungkin biarkan aku jadi begini lebih baik dari kesepian.

Kabuskan mata

Yang ku harapkan cuma ini,
kau lepaskanlah... dan teruskanlah kehidupanmu.
Dan aku kan jalani hidup ini dengan sepuasnya sampai masa menjemput.

Oh dunia. Kabuskan mataku. Kaburkan mataku. Biarkan aku terjaga lagi. Semua ilusi akan mati.

Where you and i belong

The place,
The hideous life,
That's where i met you...

The darkest,
The secret,
That will never be told...

The time,
The love,
The misses,
That's where you and i belong...

Just hold on to the conversation,
It'll get deeper and better,
I'll be yours one day too.

Mimpi Semalam

Mimpi semalam.

Teringat zaman kecil, main tembak-tembak dengan abang-abang, adik.

Tersekat nafas.
Tersekat jantung.
Tersekat udara.

Yang terhasil,

kerinduan terhadap manusia yang disayangi begitu tinggi nilainya.

punyai $100 juta pun akan menjadi tidak guna kalau hati tetap kosong.

Percayalah. Mati itu wujud.
Pandang alam ini, lihat keadaannya.
Hati aku bukan disini lagi.

Takkan Merinduimu

Setelah puas ku korbankan
Apa yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan
Padam saja sayang itu
Semua kau mungkiri dulu

"Aku teringat tentang bulan dan bintang, seperti air yang wujud dalam mata, teresak-esak aku lahirkan, namun secebis pun kau tidak mengerti sakitnya dihati ini, rasa kecewa yang menghimpit jiwa, dan aku takkan pernah merinduimu lagi..."

Akhirnya
Ku bisakan perasaan itu lari
Jauh dari keringat kini
Setelah segala kau bawa pergi


Seolah malam dan siang tak mampu menyatu
Puas sudah hancurnya semua didepan mata
Ku berjanji lagi
Takkan merinduimu... selamanya.

Musim akan membawa aku kembali kepangkuan ilahi.

Jahatkah?

jahatkah aku bila aku melepaskan kau pergi,
semua ini tuk dirimu berbahagia dengan yang lain,
jahatkah aku bila aku berkata-kata kasar,
agar kau tak lagi ingat padaku dan kecewa lagi,

jahatkah aku sampai rakan-rakanmu memandangku
seolah-olah aku ini manusia paling hina,
jahatkah aku sehingga rakan-rakanmu memikirkan
aku inilah yang membuatkan kau sengsara,

jahatkah aku kerana cuma ingin kau lebih bebas,
jahatkah aku jika mahu melihat kau lebih bahagia,
jahatkah aku semata-mata mahu memberi kau lebih jelas,
jahatkah aku hanya ingin kau membuka mata,

adakah aku insan paling jahat dimata kau dan sahabat-sahabatmu,
adakah aku insan paling hina itu,
adakah aku insan yang begitu keji,
sehingga sanggup kau fikir aku ini kurang ajar.

Dengarlah,
semua ku lakukan hanya tuk melihat kau
lebih bahagia,bebas,bernafas dan ceria
bersama mereka dan si dia yang kau lebih cintai,
dan bukannya untuk menyeksa dalam permainan yang kau anggap
ku ciptakan,

dan mengertilah,
insan yang paling menderita saat ini ialah aku.
Itu kau tidakkan pernah memahami segalanya.

Dari Sisi

Bayangan semalam
sudah melarakan kita
tertutupnya sebuah emosi
untuk merelakan dikau pergi

campak saja cinta ini
ke dasar angin yang tinggi
rindu ada datang dan pergi
namun luka tak bisa terpadam lagi

sudah masa ku berikan
kata maaf dirayu
akhirnya semua itu terabai olehmu
yang merasakan aku ini diam

kau takkan pernah
cuba untuk mengerti
tentang hakiki
sebenarnya diri ini

biarkan.
lepaskan.
akhirkan.
jauhkan.
segalanya dariku.

pergilah saja dari sisi
ku tak mahu disini
memandang lagi
segala kau dihati

Hold Tight

Quiet, its you
who speaks the truth
Spreading the believe
I'm not gonna hide

Its the time
where i should let you go
the pain in my heart
i need a transplant

If this situation still the same
i don't know what else could be
My heart that ache
Forever I'm gonna be

What is left in the oven
Its for you to have
i can't say no more
if this what you want

I'm so sick, dying
for your forgiveness
If the attention i need
is making you hate me more
then nothing i could have done

This is my final wish
before you say anything
I'll let you know one thing
I've forgive for everything
you have done to me...

The smoke in my cigarette
Nobody can feel the air
as if the moment sweeps us away
but it's all a lie
That you thought i create

can't force you no more
can't have you anymore
won't push no more
hold tight baby, I'm gonna let you go for the last time.

updated love.

Bulan takkan merindukan sahabatnya jika hati sudah berkubur.

i need a shoulder. yours should be fine.

Jangan secelit pun kau kembali. Jangan secubit pun kau datang. Aku tak mampu merenung wajahmu lagi untuk sesaat dan selamanya.

aku takkan menunggumu dimalam ini, dan biarkan siang menjelma lagi, kerana asmara sudahku lepaskan, biarkan bintang kesepian, biar ia kelam, sepertiku disini.

ku lepas kan kau pergi. jangan kembali. jangan pulang. jangan mencari. pergilah kau bersama bintang. akhiri semua malam ini. aku tak kan menganggu lagi... maafkan.

Tahukah perasaan begini sememangnya begitu lemah?

I hope one day you will realize of all the things you've done. I hope God will show you the real road for you that you have not taken yet. I hope that you will change for the better and not for the worst, I hope the every best in you and I know ...that now you just wanna have some fun but remember that fun could create hurt into your future. I also wish you the love, patience and happiness in future. GoodLuck Friend!

- my FB status update. urgh.

It Takes Me Higher.

When finally I felt acknowledged for the first time in the dream, I keep saying this in my soul 'don’t ever take it for granted', for the first time in my life, I felt so happy. Even in my sleep, I’m smiling deeply in heart, Butterflies keep blossoming in my stomach, the truth about me is now the more I shine, and the more I feel inside, it is like having a tumor in your head, when you are waiting for it to pop, it is something I called love. I cried, I bleed and I smiled, the pain of not knowing the truth does kill me inside, but in time, I learnt to value, honor and be grateful for, it teaches me that no matter how hard you try, never keep backing off, eventually it worth the ass when you already reach the part of hurting yourself.

I earned so many things in life that I tend to disbelief and keep ignoring it, Later on, I realized it is not worth it without somebody to share with, In the meantime, I’m still searching for my other half, As I know love won't let me down a bit. Yes, it takes you no time to fall in love and it does take you years to know what love all about is. And of course, being able to utter things does make me feel great, but what it is all about when you don't even know what to say, to do or to identify, it is something you have got to discover out before the time ends tick-tock-inn, like a bird sing the song on the tree or the flowers flourishing in the morning.

I much comprehend life now when I see people walking out to their life, staring at the sky and when they sleep in the night. It is about getting ready for something you want or something you wish for. Sometimes, in life, you have to be strong and stable; you can’t give up things easily even you have failed so many times before. You have to take the risk, to know the consequences of the risk. You will never know what could be the answer as you keep delaying the matters. And I think now, I’m much of a risk taker person as I love being challenged by myself so that I will never regret of not knowing things beyond my expectation and acquaintance. I could be terrible, but I choose to be impartial because in life, you can’t expect people to like you every time.

I love the feeling of being able to recognize people, the feeling of captivating chances and never feel guilty being by, as the moment I touch down my heartache, I always pray to God that I’m still able to reach my delight time, without worrying about my soaring ages in the world that keep turning upside down with the whole things going on in the region of the places I’ve been or not. I will never erase every moment I had in the past, today and the future I’m living in even though; I’m starting to forget things slowly without my willingness. And sometimes I speculate what if I leave this all behind, will I be disappointed or will I still be happy? What would the answer be? And now, I’m starting to look things in the clearer space and better surface so that I won’t be a judgmental person anymore.

As now, I feel the love, patience, philosophy and happiness that God have given me, with all the concern and heartbeat, I feel better as time goes by, without I know that there's more to life outside the line.

I assume that I’m a thinker and I just want to share my reflection about my life and others for the time now.

Semakin Rapuh

Kadang-kala aku rasa aku lupa dengan kawan-kawan aku.
Tapi sebenarnya tidak.

Cuma aku banyak masalah.
Masalah dikampus ini.
Jendela yang banyak pilihannya membutakan hatiku.

Aku semakin rapuh.
Namun sisi lainku kebalkan jiwaku.

Aku sudahpun membuang secelit perasaan benci.
Pada semua insan.

Aku ini manusia lemah.
Yang mahukan yang biasa-biasa sahaja.

Namun apa kan daya,
Aku tak mampu puaskan hati semua orang.

Kawan-kawanku,
Maafkan aku.

Seandainya masih ada sayang itu,
ucapkanlah.

Don't force me, Won't force you.

I won't force you to leave me.
And I don't even want to force you to stay with me.

You can't force me to leave you.
You can't force me to stay with you.

You and me have no difference.
We used to be one.
We used to be there.

You can't force too much to mend a heart.
And I can't force us to be in something we don't belong.

Don't force too much if the thing doesn't belong to you anymore.

I'll let you go.

I'll let her go,
I won't let her go,
I have to let her go,

I can't let her go,
I can let her go,
I don't...
want to let her go,

If what you need to say is that you need to leave...
then leave.

I'll let you go.

August Rush

I will just summarized my august moments as this month is the most hectic month ever!

- Keluar masuk court UiTM (Case: AJK MASPENA dituduh Meragging budak)) <- which is not true at all.
- Had a miscommunication with my friends.
- Almost being quaraintined because of my high fever... H1N1. WTF?!
- Tons of assignment and projects!
- Quit being an exco and the rest of the exco also quit!
- ETR.. ETR...
-Tension...
-Duit keluar macam air.
- Tension tak dapat subsidi makanan. sedih kan?
- Me n my level mates always cook for sahur... :)

Ok. Thats it

Daaa...

Happy Fasting!

Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan To All.